Doris Jouas

Doris Jouas, 56, died Friday evening March 3, 2017 in Tulsa, Oklahoma while surrounded by her immediate family members. She was born on November 1, 1960 in Montevideo, Uruguay to Rubi and Gladys Ruiz. At the age of 11, she moved with her family from Uruguay to Bogota, Colombia and six years later to Miami, Florida at the age of 16. In Miami, Doris met Jan-Noel Jouas and they married on May 27, 1984 in New York City, NY. At the onset of her illness, Doris was employed for 8 years with the Jenks Public School System as the coordinator of the Parents as Teachers program and the Jenks Community Preschool. Prior to working for Jenks Public School System, Doris worked for 11 years at Kirk of the Hills preschool as teacher in their 4-year old program. Prior to Kirk of the Hills, Doris worked for several years as a teacher at Bethany Community School in Tulsa. Doris also was an instructor in the early childhood education program at Tulsa Tech where she trained aspiring early childhood educators with the knowledge to meet certification requirements.

Doris’ life passion was devoted to working with and educating young children as well as providing parents the tools, information and guidance required for children to learn the basic early age skills necessary to progress proficiently through the school system. Doris also served on the board of Tulsa CASA. Court Appointed Special Advocates are specially trained volunteers who speak for the best interests of abused and neglected children in the court system.

Doris attended Escuela Japon public school in Uruguay and Liceo Boston, a private Catholic school, in Bogota, Colombia. She graduated from Killian High School in Miami, followed by Miami-Dade Community College and finally Florida International University where she obtained her Bachelor’s degree in Psychology. Her earlier job included working at the Bank of Miami before dedicating the remaining of life working with and on behalf of children.

Doris’ unconditional love as a mother for her two children was limitless. Her acquired skills in early childhood education were duly applied as Daniel and Gabriel navigated the school and social maze to mature into outstanding men of character, poise, self-confidence and grace.

During her early years, Doris lived within walking distance to the beach in Montevideo, Uruguay. Her love for the beach and ocean was never forgotten and no beach vacation opportunity ever missed. While the beach was easily accessible to her while living in Florida, additional planning was required after moving to Tulsa. Her favorite vacations when her sons were younger included the one-week Destin, Florida summer vacations with her family or spending time at her parents’ home near the beach in Jupiter, Florida. Equally as exciting were the extended vacations to Europe and Uruguay with her family. These trips along with their added cultural flavor instilled an innate ambition for Daniel and Gabriel to explore beyond the hedges as they grew older and gained independence. Doris and Jan-Noel loved to relax at warm weather all-inclusive resorts where daily chores and responsibilities were put to the wayside. Numerous vacations were taken with close cultured friends (Davis and Jones) to St. Kitts, Costa Rica, and Dominican Republic. In between these vacations, Doris and Jan-Noel loved traveling and visiting close friends and family spread across the United States.

Doris’ closest friend was her sister Silvia. Over twenty years ago, Silvia and her husband, Dr. Zubin Balsara, moved from Bremerton, WA to Fort Smith, AR. It was not a coincidence that of all the places where Silvia and her husband could have settled, they chose a location within easy driving distance to Doris and her family. Much joy was spent over the next two decades either in Tulsa or Fort Smith celebrating birthdays, christenings, holidays or any other occasion with the families. Both Zubin and Silvia became even more instrumental in Doris’ life during the years of illness. Silvia’s personal life and professional practice took a back seat to her unconditional devotion to her sister's health and well-being. Silvia’s selfless character and love of Doris allowed for the interruption of her family vacations and weekly visits to Tulsa for several years. Silvia’s giving grace is only matched by Doris’ example of how to manage cancer with dignity without losing hope and keeping a positive attitude at all times, knowing the odds were not at all in her favor. Equally helpful to Doris was having Zubin, her brother-in-law, as her medical advocate throughout her battle. His invaluable advice and wisdom provided the necessary guidance in making the correct decisions when options were not overwhelmingly clear.

Doris’ hobbies included reading, gourmet cooking, entertaining, traveling, and spending time with friends and family. Her monthly book club was an anticipated event and well-needed distraction from her ongoing illness to which she always looked forward attending when she was not hosting. She thoroughly enjoyed warm camaraderie and closeness of her special book club friends. A small portion of time at these get-togethers was focused on discussing the book assignment; the balance spent catching up with each other’s children’s accomplishments, family activities, and common day-to-day struggles. But most of all, sharing poignant opinions about the common ideology and values they all seem to have in common dominated the discussions. Following the book club meetings, Doris loved providing her husband a summary of the assigned book, providing her unique synopsis and vivid imagery and details. No justification was needed for allowing her to lose herself and be transported in these books – this was another facet of her therapy and escape from the reality of her illness. She was especially proud of and felt privileged to be included among this intelligent group of ladies.

Another not-so-secret passion for Doris was her love for good coffee and sharing a cup with friends. Doris’ order-of-the-day (without fail) began with morning coffee, meticulously prepared the previous night ahead of bedtime, needing only a push of the button the following morning. The simple ritual of sharing morning coffee with her husband had seemingly mystical powers of making everything else in life seem less important. Doris was especially proud of her Italian espresso/latte machine she acquired as gift for her 50th birthday, whose sole purpose was to extend the coffee buzz throughout the day when the drip coffee lost its punch. Towards the later stage of her illness, homebound along with losing her ability to drive, Doris took special pleasure in her afternoon coffee outings with her close friend Lorra whom she had met in 2001 when their sons played club soccer together. From these café escapes to 15th Street, Bona, Shades of Brown, Nordagios, Romeos, etc. Doris and Lorra grew closer to each other, as close as two sisters. During the final weeks of Doris’ life, she took joy in spending time with Lorra and being assisted by her with the daily activities she was no longer able to handle herself. Words will never do justice or come close to describing the special relationship and devoted friendship Doris and Lorra shared with each other.

Doris’ Latina heritage also required nurturing upon which she relied on her close friend of 30 years Liliana. Doris had met Liliana very soon after moving from Miami to Tulsa in 1988 where they soon discovered they had many things in common which would sustain their longstanding friendship. She and Liliana had an unfailing standing lunch appointment every Wednesday where Doris would be picked up at 12:30 precisely. Liliana and Doris took pride in eating healthy restaurant lunches and soon became Wednesday regulars at Zoe’s, Taziki’s, Einstein’s or Panera, often times sharing a meal. Not only did she share a special Latina bond with Liliana but she also shared the joy of having two sons very close in age which provided the fuel for many of their discussions. During the final stage of Doris’ life, when she was no longer able to join Liliana for the Wednesday lunch date, they both joined each other at home for wonderfully meals prepared by Liliana.

Doris’ strength included keeping the family together during the 90’s when her husband traveled frequently overseas. These were challenging times at first, with two young energetic boys. Her confidence in herself, assertiveness self-dependence were forged during these early absences of her husband, allowing her to blossom into a secure, equal and loving partner which we all know as the modern Doris. As the boys grew older, they spent more and more time at soccer practices, weekend matches, and out-of-town tournaments, Doris being the familiar soccer-mom in shuffling them to and from these various commitments. She loved to watch them play and was her sons’ biggest supporter and fan, whether it was a hot weekend in August, a pleasant Saturday afternoon in the fall, or a chilly winter night at Holland Hall’s Charlie Brown stadium.

Doris fell ill in November 2013 and underwent surgery at St. Francis to remove a tumor from her brain which was diagnosed as stage 4 metastatic melanoma. This surgery was followed by general radiation treatment to her brain as well as another mass discovered on the lymph nodes. In January 2014 it was discovered that the cancer had spread beyond the brain blood barrier into her lower organs. This metastases was treated using state-of-art targeted therapy at MD Anderson in Houston. Follow up treatment required quarterly visits to MDA. Despite the burden of many hours spent traveling overnight by car to and from Houston and in the doctor’s offices during visits to MDA, Doris always looked forward to spending time with her son Daniel and his wife Jennifer, who lived in Houston. Later in 2014 Doris underwent second surgery at St. Francis to remove a newly discovered mass in her brain. Twice in 2016, newly discovered brain tumors were treated using stereotactic radiation. In early 2017, complications arising from previously affected areas of the brain, coupled with the unavailability of compatible treatment options exacerbated the spread of the cancer to her spine area, accelerating the general attack to her body and nervous system. Doris’ original diagnoses in 2013 conservatively allowed 9-12 month survival rate for 50% of similarly diagnosed patients. Beating the odds almost 3 ½ years later, Doris succumbed to her illness with amazing grace and dignity in the loving embrace of her immediate family. It is important to note that during her illness Doris never once gave up hope, instead fully expecting to die of old age and live her life to the fullest extent possible without ever expressing any pity or feeling sorry for herself. Instead she used her remaining time to share her radiance, unconditional and passionate love with her sons, husband, family and friends, uncertain of the future challenges she could be facing.

The irony is not lost that Doris was born on November 1, All Saints Day. Many have often compared Doris to a saint for her selfless attitude and advocacy for children. In addition to her love and dedication to family, Doris will be remembered for her love of children, selflessness, beautiful smile, sparkling eyes, charming accent, unique laugh, tolerance for diversity and inclusiveness, listening ear, tireless patience, willingness to help and especially how she brightened any room she entered. She will be sorely missed and yes, there is now a new saint.

Doris was preceded in death by her parents Rubi and Gladys Ruiz and niece Ariana Balsara.

Doris is survived by husband Jan-Noel Jouas (Tulsa, OK), son Daniel Jouas and his wife Jennifer Jouas (Houston, TX), son Gabriel Jouas (Tulsa, OK), sister Silvia and husband Zubin Balsara (Fort Smith, AR), and nephew Adrian Balsara (Denver, CO).

Funeral Arrangements are entrusted to Schaudt’s Funeral Service. Family and friends may send memories and condolences to the family online at www.schaudtfuneralservice.com. A private visitation and viewing is scheduled for immediate family. A public memorial service will take place Saturday, March 11 at 10AM at All Saints Chapel located on the Holland Hall campus, 5666 E 81st St, Tulsa, OK. A small reception for everyone will follow at the adjacent Holland Hall Upper School library.

In lieu of flowers, please consider donations in Doris’ name to Tulsa CASA http://www.tulsacasa.org/ or Clarehouse https://www.clarehouse.org/.